Once Again With More Feeling
by DarkWoods
Summary: A humorous little mockumentary based on films like Waiting for Guffman and Drop Dead Gorgeous. Damon, Stefan, Elena, and the rest of The Vampire Diaries' gang are being cast in a stage version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's musical episode, Once More With Feeling. Give it a peek... all in good fun :)


"_**Disclaimer: 1) a renunciation of any claim to or connection with; 2) a disavowal; 3) a statement made to save one's own ass" ~Kevin Smith, Dogma**_

_My Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (sadly) or The Vampire Diaries (still very sad)... it goes without saying (even though I'm saying it anyway) that I also don't own Spike or Damon... or Drop Dead Gorgeous or Tropic Thunder, two great movies that I stole the beginning of this story from (I should probably mention; This Is Spinal Tap, Waiting For Guffman, Best in Show, and A Mighty Wind... if you've seen them, then no explanation is needed)_

**A/N; My author's note... this is my humor fan fiction... a little bit of a parody, and a little bit of a mockumentary... **

**All will be explained, and all in good fun... so, don't hate the player, hate the game :)**

**Happy Reading!**

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2012 Marked the 10th Anniversary

Of the Series Premiere

Of One of the Greatest Television Shows of All Time...

(No Need to Get All Crazy-like, We Said O_ne Of)_

...Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

To Commemorate the Occasion, DarkWoods Felt She Should Write a Humorous Fan Fiction

Of the 10 Ideas Thought Up...4 Survived,

Of Those 4... 3 Were BtVS/TVD Crossovers,

Of Those 3... 2 Were Based on the Episode _Once More With Feeling._

And of Those 2... Just 1 Had the Potential to Become a Stage Musical!

This is the Story of the Attempt to Produce That Musical

A Documentary Film Crew Was Sent to Capture That Attempt

This Fan Fiction is the Transcript of that Documentary...

**Once Again With More Feeling**

_Outside, in front of the theatre_

**Narrator** – We have just arrived at the theatre where the cast of The Vampire Diaries will be spending their summer hiatus. They will be staring in a stage production of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's musical episode...Once More With Feeling. We will soon be meeting with the director, DarkWoods.

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_Backstage_

**Narrator** – So, Ms. Woods...are you excited?

**DarkWoods** – Yes, today is very exciting because we are going to be casting everyone's roles.

**Narrator** – We are all looking forward to it. And who is this?

**DarkWoods** – This is my designated stagehand sidekick...slash assistant...slash fill-in-the-holes-and-make-funny-little-comments invention.

**Narrator** – Does he have a name?

**DarkWoods** – Um...yeah...Stagehand.

**Narrator** – Alright then. So, with all the tension between Team Delena and the Stefan/Elena fans, do you think you've made a mistake enlisting fang girls to be your stage hands?

**DarkWoods** – Probably. Hijinks will most likely ensue.

**Narrator** – Ok...moving on.

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_The cast is sitting in the house, while the director and her assistant are on stage_

**DarkWoods** – Ok, let's start with Stefan.

**Damon** – It's always Stefan. _(under his breath) _Stefan, Stefan, Stefan.

**DarkWoods** – Stefan, you're going to be Angel...for obvious reasons.

**Stefan** – Obvious reasons?

**DarkWoods** – Yeah, well...you both brood, you've got the furrowed eyebrows, and the whole "tortured by my past". Plus, you've also got the hair thing going on.

**Stefan** – Wait...Angel's not in this episode.

**DarkWoods** – Exactly. (_laughs_) I'm just kidding. No, we will be working Angel into this production. _(Stefan raises his hand)_ Yes?

**Stefan** – My hair is more like Edward's.

**DarkWoods** – Yes, but Edward is not in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Totally different cannon. _(he raises his hand again)_ What?

**Stefan** – I eat animals like Edward.

**Damon** – _(interjects) _I am not being a werewolf!

**DarkWoods** – Ok, again, those characters are from Twilight. This is a Buffy crossover. _(director rolls her eyes)_ Stefan! Put your hand down! _(regains composure)_ Moving on. Damon...that means your Spike.

**Damon** – Yes! That guy is bad ass!

**DarkWoods** – _(under her breath)_ Glad some of us are getting this. _(looking back at the cast)_ So, Elena...that, begrudgingly, makes you Buffy. _(she smiles brightly, director pauses to look around)_ I guess Sookie couldn't make it.

**Elena** – What?

**DarkWoods** – Nothing. So that brings us to Caroline. You're going to be Cordelia.

**Stefan** – But Cordelia's not...

**DarkWoods** – _(cuts her off)_ Yes, I know. For the sake of argument, let's just assume that all the Buffy-verse characters are in this, ok?

**Caroline** – Why am I Cordelia?

**DarkWoods** – Well, she's bubbly and likes to shop and...and...you're just Cordelia, ok? _(regains composure again)_ Plus, you had that whole living in Elena's shadow thing. You know "why doesn't Stefan want me" and all.

**Caroline** – But since my moving transformation as a vampire...never to be upstaged by anyone else's transformation...

**Elena** – _(whispers to Damon)_ Is she talking about me?

_(Damon furrows his brow and shakes his head, Elena smiles, then Damon looks at Stefan and rolls his eyes)_

**Caroline** – _(continues)_ I've become a new person. I'm no longer the shallow, self-centered one. I am now the voice of reason, and the glue of this little social group.

**DarkWoods** – And you just proved my point. Anyway, you still say funny little things like her. I don't know, it just works. Besides, it's better than being compared to Harmony. _(Caroline nods her head in agreement)_ Now...Bonnie.

**Bonnie** – Let me guess...I'm Willow.

**DarkWoods** – How did you know? _(She says sarcasticly)_

**Bonnie** – Well, it's not like I'm the only witch on the show or anything.

**DarkWoods** – Well, actually...

**Bonnie** – _(cuts her off) _Plus, I'm Elena's best friend.

**DarkWoods** – Yes, you are. Even though you don't really act like it...and Caroline has kind of moved into your role. What was I agreeing with? _(shakes her head)_ It doesn't matter, your still Willow.

**Bonnie** – I'll try not to turn that evil.

**DarkWoods** – Nice to know. _(a little nervous)_

**Bonnie** – I can at least promise that I won't try and destroy the world.

**DarkWoods** – Thanks for that. _(takes a deep breath) _Next up...Alaric. Nice to see you back. Did you enjoy being evil?

**Ric** – Well, I did have fun kicking the crap out of Damon.

_(he leans back and gives Damon a cocky smile, Damon gives him a fake laugh and glares, Ric holds up his glass and cheers him before taking a sip)_

**DarkWoods** – Where did you get whiskey from?

**Damon** – I thought it was bourbon.

**Stagehand** – I thought it was scotch.

**DarkWoods** – It's a tumbler full of "amber colored alcohol"...it could be brandy for all we know. Back to Alaric. Now, you are the only adult hanging around a bunch of your 17 year old students. So...that makes you Giles.

**Ric** – Damon's 22.

**DarkWoods** – Yeah, but he kinda gets a pass. He's eternally young and all that. Besides...he's Damon. _(Damon smirks, Stefan and Elena roll their eyes)_

**Ric** – Well, at least I'm not Wesley.

**Damon** – Yeah, but Wesley got pretty bad ass in Angel. I mean he got all scruffy. Had the whole human captive thing going on. Not to mention sex with the enemy...hot!

**Elena** – Sex with the enemy? Hmm... _(she turns in her seat and gives Damon her best Elena-glare)_ Maybe you should be Wesley.

**Stefan** – He can't. He's Spike. _(rolls his eyes, then looks alarmed)_ Wait! Does he get two parts? If Damon gets to play two parts, then I want two parts. _(Elena and Damon both roll their eyes)_

**Damon** – And this is the brother you chose? Besides, aren't we over the whole "I slept with Rebekah" thing?

**Elena** – I am. _(she crosses her arms and frowns)_ I just still can't believe you did that.

**Damon** – Elena...when you stop pining over my brother, then I'll stop sleeping with other women, deal?

_(She fumes and turns back around in her seat, Damon is wearing a satisfied smirk)_

**DarkWoods** – That's it? You two can continue, you know? We'll wait.

**Stefan** – I thought this was an unbiased-ship fan fiction?

**DarkWoods** – Stefan, what do you want from me? I write Delena fan fic. I'm trying my best.

**Stagehand** – _(starts singing_) What do you want from me. What do you want from me-eee. _(director raises her eyebrows)_ Adam Lambert. _(director narrows her eyes at him)_ What? It's a good song.

**DarkWoods** – If this is not Twilight, then it's certainly not Glee.

**Stagehand** – But we're putting on a musical.

**DarkWoods** – _(looks outsmarted)_ Shut up. _(director rubs between her eyebrows)_ Stefan, doesn't all that furrowing hurt after a while.

**Stefan** – _(he shrugs)_ You kinda get used to it.

**DarkWoods** – _(shrugs back)_ Alright, getting back to casting. That leaves us with who? Oh, Matt and Jeremy. Congratulations on your new bromance, by the way.

**Jeremy** – Does that make us Xander and Oz?

**DarkWoods** – What show were you watching? When did Xander and Oz ever have a bromance? Besides, you two aren't funny. _(they both make faces)_ Sorry, but it's true.

**Jeremy** – So then who am I?

**DarkWoods** – (_sighs_) Probably Oz.

**Jeremy** – I thought you said I'm not funny.

**DarkWoods** – You're not. But, he did date Willow.

**Tyler – S**houldn't I be Oz? I mean, he's a werewolf...I'm a werewolf.

**DarkWoods** – Tyler! Hey! Sorry about the whole possession thing.

**Tyler** – Ah, it's ok. Makes my character really important now. I'm hoping I get a lot of screen time.

**DarkWoods** – Yeah, but aren't you afraid that Klaus is gonna...you know...have his way with your girlfriend.

**Tyler** – _(he gets a creepy little smile and laughs)_ Yeah I am!

**DarkWoods** – Are you Klaus right now? _(he nods) _You're gonna do the Jeykell-Hyde thing through the whole story, aren't you? _(he nods again) _Ok then.

**Tyler/Klaus** – Well, Joesph Morgan couldn't be here.

**DarkWoods** – Yeah, that's such a shame, isn't it? I mean, he was so great on the show.

**Stagehand** – He gave Klaus such layers.

**DarkWoods** – I know! With...

**DarkWoods & Stagehand** – The drawing! _(they say together)_

**DarkWoods** – But we didn't actually see his body burn up, right?

**Stagehand** – Spoilers!

**DarkWoods** – Oh, that's not a spoiler. That's pure conjecture. _(Someone in the seats clears their throat) _Oh...sorry. Where was I?

**Caroline – **_(interjects)_ Just for the record...it won't be my fault, because he looks like Tyler.

**Tyler/Klaus** – Keep telling yourself that, beautiful. _(he winks at her)_

**Jeremy** – So, I'm oz?

**DarkWoods** – Probably. I mean I was going to make you Xander, but I think Matt might be Xander. Even though he's not funny either. But he did date Caroline, and Xander dated Cordelia.

**Tyler/Klaus** – I also dated Caroline...

**DarkWoods** – Yeah, but your half-Klaus right now. You're Kyler...or Taus. _(laughs to herself)_

**Matt** – I could be Riley.

**DarkWoods** – Hmm...that does make sense. You know, it's true that we really don't give you enough credit.

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_Backstage_

**Narrator** – So, how do you think casting is going?

**DarkWoods** – It's going fairly well. We have most of the obvious roles cast. There's still a few people to fit into the production, and still a few roles that need to be filled.

**Narrator** – Have you done much research to get ready for this production?

**DarkWoods** – I didn't have to do much, but I did check out some Buffy vs. Vamp Diaries stuff online. I have to say...there are a lot of haters out there.

**Narrator** – What do you mean?

**DarkWoods** – Well, there's a lot of "how dare you compare the two"...blah, blah, blah. I really think that us true fang girls get it.

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_Back in the front of the house, casting has resumed after a short break_

_The director is sitting on the edge of the stage talking to a cast member_

**Jeremy** – Why do I have to be Oz?

**DarkWoods** – Stop pestering me, or I'll make you dawn. _(Jeremy narrows his eyes)_ Anyway, it hasn't been decided if you'll be Oz or not. Now go sit down next to Matt.

_Cast members are returning to their seats_

**Stefan** – I still don't see why.

**Elena** – Stefan...for the last time, Edward is not in this. _(she turns around to roll her eyes at Damon, who just throws his hands up)_

_More cast members start sitting down_

**Bonnie** – I really don't think they'll make you dye your hair.

**Caroline** – They better not.

**Tyler/Klaus** – Well, I think you'd look fetching as a brunette.

**Caroline** – Fetching? _(Kyler winks at her, she just rolls her eyes)_

**DarkWoods** – Alright, everyone sit down so we can wrap up casting. Who's left? _(Stagehand whispers something in her ear) _Meredith? Oh, hey Meredith. Thanks for being here, but I'm not sure we can use you.

**Meredith** – What? Why not?

**DarkWoods** – I mean you sorta dated Alaric...but Giles' girlfriends kinda end up dead, or going back to England. So...

**Meredith** – I don't understand this! I was in the books!

**DarkWoods** – Um...ok, just hang out for a while. Maybe we can find something for you.

**Meredith** – Whatever. _(she stands up)_ I'm gonna go jack some vampire blood. _(she storms up the __aisle)_

**DarkWoods** – _(whispers to Stagehand)_ Who does she get that stuff from anyway? _(Stagehand shrugs)_

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_Outside, in front of the theatre_

**DarkWoods** – Yeah, I think the casting went very well today. _(Stagehand nods in agreement) _There were some bumps, but that's just all part of the process.

**Narrator** – So, tomorrow will be the first rehearsal. Do you have any idea which number you'll be working on first?

**DarkWoods** – We'll definitely be starting with Spike's song "Rest in Peace."

**Narrator** – So that will be Elena and Damon?

**Stagehand** – That's right. _(director narrows her eyes at him)_

**Narrator** – Do you think some of the songs will be hard to tackle?

**Stagehand** – Oh, yes. We... _(director puts a hand over his mouth)_

**DarkWoods** – Yes. I think Tara's song "Under Your Spell" will give us some difficulty. And most likely "Walk Through the Fire" and "Where Do We Go from Here?" will give us some trouble too.

**Narrator** – Will we see any songs that weren't in this episode of Buffy?

**DarkWoods** – Yes, there will be a few that I'm sure the audience will recognize. All in all, I think the cast is going to put on a great production. We're all very excited.

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**Final A/N; Just want to say thank you to anyone who actually reads this story... was just a fun little idea that I wanted to play around with... if anyone is out there, please drop a quick review :) I'm excited for a little feedback...**

**Happy Reviewing!**


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